[reads summary of fic] THIS IS WHAT I WANT
[reads first 10 words of fic] this is not what i want
jim kirk? oh yeah he’s such a bad boy stereotypically macho man. what a renegade. he is a hardcore womanizing space rebel
"how are you doing?"
[makes several vague hand gestures and various noises rather than giving an actual answer]
sometimes u just gotta lay on the floor with ur dog